Soapbox

Almost everyone has that one thing: the topic that gets you on your proverbial soap box to tell the world your passion.

Mine is child abuse: not just sexual. Physical, emotional. Whatever kind of manipulation is used against a child to make them feel “less than.”

When I was a kid, corporal punishment was common. It was widely accepted as the way to teach a child right from wrong. “Spare the rod and spoil the child,’ the experts said. I know way too many Boomers who still agree.

There’s a problem with that theory: How do you define “spanking”? A whack on the butt or across the back of the legs? With a hand? A switch? A belt? How many whacks are needed? One? Ten? Twenty? And what constitutes a punishable offense? Years ago I read a newspaper article about a child who, after being ordered to go cut a switch so he could be punished, instead chose to kill himself. It broke my heart.

Emotional abuse can be just as damaging. Tell a child they’re stupid, worthless, ugly, “bad”… whatever. And guess what? Too many times they believe that nonsense and give up. It can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. How many adults do you know who have grown up to accept spousal abuse because they believe they deserve it? Again, my fellow Boomers might counter that a child who is not subjected to those words is being coddled. That wanting one’s child to feel “special” or worthy is somehow poor parenting. I call bullshit.

A younger generation may read this and think it’s all too silly, but–guess what? It still happens; the physical, emotional and, yes, sexual abuse still continues. Many adults still see children as somehow inherently flawed and therefore needing harsh correction. Many still see their children as their “property” and therefore subject to their rules and desires. And many of those adults are simply continuing the practices of their parents. It’s what they know.

Doesn’t make it right.

The old adage is “respect your elders.” As if by virtue of age they deserve it. I disagree. Respect your children. Love them for who they are. Treat them as you want to be treated.

And that’s what gets me on my soapbox.

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