Shelved: When your “best” just isn’t good enough

I remember the first time I heard it: Your first novel will never see the light of day. No matter how good you think it is, it’s probably not ready for prime time and it probably never will be.

“Not my novel!” I thought. I was indignant. Downright upset. Crushed.

How could this—my best work, my baby—end up on the shelf? I’d put so much work into it, my sweat, my tears, my soul. I would never give up on it.

Guess what? My first novel ended up on the shelf.

I didn’t exactly give up on it. I finished it, I polished it to “perfection” and realized it was far from perfect.

It was a good “practice” novel as most first novels ultimately are. But it was lacking in s-o-o-o many ways.

In my case, the biggest problem was that the heroine was not what most readers want a heroine to be. She came across as a victim, a woman with no “agency” who let herself be pushed around for most of her life. Yes, those things happen, but it’s not the kind of a story most people want to read. They want their protagonists to be strong, independent heroes.

When I finally accepted the truth, I reluctantly set it aside and took on a novella I’d written years ago. I challenged myself to turn it into a full-length novel.

Until I realized it was worse than the one I’d grudgingly set aside. So it joined my “practice” novel on the shelf.

In the meantime I was learning how to write a novel. It’s not just writing scenes: it’s making those scenes compelling, enticing the reader to keep reading. It’s building tension, making the protagonist’s success important to the reader, making them hate (and sometimes feel sorry for) the antagonist.

Yeah, those first two novels were snooze-fests, but instead of letting that stop me, it made me even more determined not to give up. (Sometimes stubbornness can be an asset!)

When I took on War Sonnets, I was conflicted. It was a story I knew I wanted to write. Who could resist taking those beautiful sonnets and haikus and turning them into an adventure? But I didn’t want to write it until I knew I was worthy of the poetry that would scaffold the novel. So I started my research and immersed myself in studying the art of writing. It didn’t matter who thought my writing was good; it had to be more than good before I tackled War Sonnets.

It took me seven years of research and learning. Writing, rewriting, polishing, rewriting some more. Until I felt I’d given it all I could.

This novel didn’t get shelved.